Crazy how life works.

Over the past few years, I’d been struggling to get into a line of work that I was really passionate about.

It was something that confused me, because I spend every day in the industry, working and improving myself.

I love the work, and I even had a pretty significant motivation to leave the current job I had.

But every time I gave it my best shot, I felt a huge anxiety, and it just didn’t feel “right”.

Time kept creeping by, and every attempt I made left me feeling a little disappointed, because I was struggling so much to commit, even when I really wanted it.

A little bit more of me, every day, felt like I was doomed to hate my job for the rest of my life.

To fill in the blanks for you, as of the time I write this, I started working at a national grocery store chain a little over 7 years ago.

Beforehand, I struggled to find employment, and the manager hired me on the spot after weeks, months, and finally, an entire day of handing out resumes and hearing “no” every time.

It was great at first.

I never had the opportunity that a job brings before – I also never had a consistent paycheck in my life.

Considering the mental health battles I went through, it happened at a time in my life where people would usually have that figured out already.

It was a blessing at the start, but even before I was ready to move on, I was already full of resentment and anger towards the company and its culture.

Fast forward three quarters of a decade, and I’m desperately searching for a new job…again.

Pet stores, alternative grocery stores, hardware and home improvement stores, and even the gym that I trained at.

Also, a handful of music stores in the city.

Including the one that my family has a long, close relationship with.

Actually, I got hired for casual work there.

But even after a year of employment, I never got accepted full-time onto their team.

A few shifts after being hired for seasonal work, hours became more limited, and fewer and further in between.

This really bummed me out.

It wasn’t enough to pay my bills, plus the added frustration of failed attempts at teaching music, which was the industry that I was really trying to get in was tough to deal with.

Mind you, there was nothing inherently wrong about working at a grocery store.

Though, the problem was that I couldn’t afford rent, and I felt like I had so much potential that wasn’t being used.

I felt like no one at the store really appreciated the true amount of value that I brought to the team, and our customers.

Not to mention that working there was energetically draining – dealing with self entitled customers, co-workers who simply didn’t care, plus the physical environment was distressing on every part of my body.

Coming home exhausted, but still struggling with sleep.

Not having energy to work on things I actually cared about in my free time.

It was a bad time.

My parents ran their teaching business for nearly a decade from our house.

They offered me several opportunities to help them out, see how the classes work, and possibly enjoy working for them full-time.

I joined them in teaching and tried learning their systems, shadowed their methods, and got somewhat acquainted with many of their students.

But every time I helped out, my insecurities were screaming at the top of their lungs.

They seemed to get louder the more I tried.

Until eventually I fizzled out, and it became more difficult to emotionally prepare for helping out with even a single class.

I was incredibly anxious, and it wasn’t obvious why.

I couldn’t blame my parents, and I couldn’t figure out if it either simply wasn’t meant for me, or the circumstances I was in made it too difficult for me, or any other reason imaginable.

I really felt stuck in my life.

You know, that place where you feel like you’ve exhausted all of your options, and you start to think that life will be this way forever…

I was battling poor sleep at the day job, and had to request leave of absence after physically not showing up for a shift with no notice.

It was the first time I had ever missed work without first calling in to let them know.

My mental health was perhaps at the lowest point it had been since my several year mental health crisis as a teenager.

Not only was I depressed, anxious, and constantly tired, but I was also vengeful, frustrated at my situation, and had a huge amount of resentment towards the company for basically taking my productivity and commitment for granted.

With that type of situation, I was more than ready to move on to a line of work that was rewarding in more ways than just the money I earned, which, as I mentioned above, wasn’t enough to pay rent.

That’s when I was given the chance to work in my parents business part-time with pay.

They finally got to the point where their teaching business could move out of our house and into a brand new commercial location.

God provided me with the perfect opportunity to leave the old job behind, and at the same time, give this teaching thing a good chance, so that I could know for sure if it was right for me or not.

Maybe it was a subconscious knowing of the opportunity at hand, but using my time during leave of absence, I decided to take the shot.

This time, I actually committed.

This time, it was different.

Fast forward to today, and after asking God to help me see the full opportunity out, I’ve been training as a part-time teacher for three weeks – almost an entire month at this point.

This is the longest I’ve ever been able to help out with teaching.

Not only that, but I also have consistent hours every week, which have not faced my absence a single time.

Also, believe it or not, but the responsibilities I’ve taken on as one of their teachers is like night and day when I compare it to the grocery store environment I used to be in.

It is such an incredible improvement of my work conditions that I no longer get anxious the day or weekend before a work day.

My even skin started to clear up from the constant breakouts I used to have.

I actually want to show up and give my full effort, to go above and beyond.

The greatest part about it, is that I get to do music full-time!

Not to mention that I have the energy to work on projects outside of my new job that genuinely mean something to me, finally.

I’ve been so productive since leaving the old job behind, that it makes me feel like I’m an entirely new person.

Doing things in life that I really want to do.

I guess it’s pretty radical how much can change with good timing, along with giving an opportunity a proper chance.

That being said, I’m still in my probationary period here, but I’ll be damned if I let this opportunity slip by without giving it everything in me.

If it doesn’t work out, at least I tried.

But if it does, then I’ll consider this a massive win for both my music career, and for the current year of 2025.

If you’re reading this, thinking that for some reason you are the exception in getting what you want in life, I promise you’re not.

If you stick to it long enough, with the correct and intentional direction, and unrelenting persistence in your effort, you will eventually get to your destination.

The funny thing about how God works, is that he rarely gives us the things we want the way we expect.

But the fact is that he will provide you with everything you need if you trust in Him.

All you need is to have faith that there is something bigger than you working in your favor.

He never stops plotting for your victory, and he oversees every single step you will take, or have already taken along the way.

Keep going!